![]() ![]() She opens the front door and is about to meet the sun when Jason jumps in front of her, saving her life. She rushes upstairs under the influence of Antonia's spell. She escapes her cell beneath Bill's house by luring Bucky Featherstone close, killing him and taking his keys. ![]() Jessica breaks free from the silver chains. Jason is torn between friendship and passion, and Jessica is spurned from two homes Lafayette becomes the pawn of a tormented spirit Tommy takes a walk in someone else's shoes Sam contends with yet another adversary in Marcus, Luna's ex and the leader of Alcide's new pack. With Sarah selecting a post-coitus bottle of wine, the same Yokonomo Corporation ninjas show up to inquire about her whereabouts.As Bill and Marnie brace for a dangerous midnight faceoff, Sookie and Eric pledge their allegiance to the King. Speaking of Sarah Newlin! She’s still in Los Angeles, having weird yoga sex with Mike Myers from The Love Guruthe yoga instructor from the cold open. Seriously, Pam, who is he to just sit there and die of his incurable disease. Only the news that Sarah Newlin is alive and well gets Eric to finally stop being such a lazy bum and get off the couch. Poor Sylvie, who spent about 90% of her screen-time naked and crying, gets a sword through the body, Red Wedding style.Īpparently Eric still sulks over the whole ordeal, because that is exactly what he continues to do in present day France. Some representatives from the Yokonomo Corporation show up to rudely interrupt yet another Eric-on-Sylvie moonlight bang sesh. Good thing the lack of blood-thirsty, rampaging vampires slowly surrounding you allows for such coy small talk.Īfter some sexual tension between Lafayette and James (which was apparently too yucky for former-James Rick Grimes), we are brought back to 1986 for more France flashbacks and butt shots. “I’m immortal, and that would scare me to death.” Oh Bill, you clever beast. One of them, still bloody I assume because he got beat up by Eminem in 8 Mile, enters the basement to interrupt a Wiccan circle led by Holly. (Ed note: And it’d be a metaphor!)Īt Fangtasia, the Hep-V vampires continue to argue. Also because it’s True Blood they’d call it something fucking stupid like the V-Team or something. ![]() If the A-Team was made up of a ginger vampire, a bitchy, medieval times vampire, a man-child, and Foghorn Leghorn in a cop outfit. Quite the opposite.Īnyway, Jessica and Andy interrupt to combine forces with Jason and Violet, forming True Blood’s A-Team. I’ve been to Medieval Times and it did not make me so angry. She’s just mean, all the time, for no reason other than she was apparently raised in medieval times or something. Can we talk about Violet for a second? In a show where I don’t really like anyone, I really don’t like Violet. Meanwhile, Violet is being mean to Jason. Luckily Sam is a bird as well as a mayor, and flies to safety. “Translation: you black he’s white,” Kenya’s friend explains. Basic driving safety still applies to the undead, Bill. I have to question whether they needed to do that while he was driving. To make sure Bill can “feel her” again, she takes some of his blood. Sookie, in case #4,569 of her being a shitty girlfriend, is on her way to a stupidly dangerous plan with Bill. Half this episode was devoted to butt shots.īack in the present day, Alcide finally notices Sookie is missing after what appears to be the longest shower of all time. The Vampire Authority and the Yokonomo Corporation don’t like Eric’s nigh-time romps, but the directors of True Blood sure do. Like already 800 years old young,) is a big fan of telling people to go fuck themselves, which he puts to good use when the Vampire Authority’s Nan Flanagan shows up to tell Eric to stop being such a skamp. Besides that, we learn that young Eric (well, relatively young. Turns out Eric is holed up in Rhone Valley because he was pretty into this French chick named Sylvie in 1986. After a brief conversation in which we learn that even Eric doesn’t give a shit that Tara died, we are treated to an Eric flashback. yoga class taught by Adam Sandler in You Don’t Mess with the Zohansome guy, we are brought right back to Rhone Valley, France with sad Pam and slowly-dying-of-Hep-V Eric. After a cold open revealing that Sarah Newlin is actually in an L.A. ![]()
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